Who killed my professional development?
Most companies fail at professional development, you shouldn't
At first, I told myself it was just a busy quarter. That the training budget would open up. That my manager would eventually say, “Here’s something to stretch you.”
But nothing came. No courses. No mentors. No challenges.
My peers in other companies were learning AI skills, public speaking, and doing strategy workshops. I was just updating spreadsheets and sitting through recycled all-hands meetings.
It felt like my company was saying: “We don’t see you going anywhere.”
I stayed late anyway, tried to self-teach between Zoom calls, but the spark was gone. Worse, a quiet fear crept in: What if I’m falling behind? What if this plateau becomes permanent?
I lacked a path. And then, one morning I made a decision so bold it scared me. It took just five minutes, and it changed everything.
SEEKER: I’m not given opportunities for professional development. No learning, no skill-building. It’s as if they don’t care about my growth. What should I do?
SAGE: Let’s explore this together. Tell me, why do you think these opportunities aren’t being offered?
SEEKER: Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? My boss doesn’t see my potential. The company doesn’t invest in people like me. I’m overlooked.
SAGE: Hmm. You’ve placed the cause outside yourself and put it in the hands of your boss and the company. What if we consider another perspective? What if these feelings of being “overlooked” stem from how we interpret our circumstances, not just the circumstances themselves. What do you think about that?
SEEKER: Are you saying it’s my fault I’m not growing? That doesn’t seem fair. They control the opportunities.
SAGE: Not your fault, no. This isn’t about blaming you. It’s asking: Are you giving yourself a task to avoid? Sometimes we create feelings like frustration or inferiority to excuse ourselves from taking action. Do you think your belief that “they control everything” might be a way to avoid something?
SEEKER: Avoid what? I want to grow! I’m not dodging anything.
SAGE: Perhaps. Let’s test it. If you didn’t feel overlooked, for example, if you assumed your growth was in your hands, what would you do differently tomorrow?
SEEKER: I’d… I suppose I’d look for ways to learn by myself. Maybe take a course, read something, ask a colleague to teach me. But why should I have to? Shouldn’t they provide that?
SAGE: A fair question. But our bosses and companies don’t owe us anything. So it’s not about what others “should” do, but what we can do. Alfred Adler called this the “separation of tasks.” Your boss’s task might be to offer opportunities, or it might not, but your task is to own your own growth. If they fail at their task, does that mean you abandon yours?
SEEKER: So I just let them off the hook? That feels like giving up.
SAGE: Not at all. It’s reclaiming power. We often feel inferior because we compare ourselves to others’ actions or standards. If you wait for their approval or their offerings, you’re living by their measure. What if your growth wasn’t about their recognition, but your own purpose?
SEEKER: I get that, but it’s hard. I still feel angry they’re not helping me.
SAGE: Anger’s natural. But sometimes emotions are tools we use to justify our stance. Your anger might be saying, “I deserve more from them.” But what if you asked instead, “What do I deserve from myself?” How does that shift things?
SEEKER: It’s… freeing, I suppose. If I focus on what I can do, I’m not stuck waiting. I could start learning something today. Then maybe propose a project to show my skills. But what if they still don’t notice?
SAGE: So what if they don’t! You’ve still grown. If you learn, create, lead, and act you’re contributing to your life, maybe even to theirs. They might notice, they might not. Does their notice change your value?
SEEKER: No, I guess not. It’s about what I do, not what they think. But it’s daunting to start alone.
SAGE: Daunting, yes, but also courageous. True freedom comes when we stop needing others to define us. You don’t need their opportunities to grow. You just need your own will. So, what’s your next step?
SEEKER: I’ll stop waiting. Tomorrow, I’ll find one skill I want to build and start. A course, a book… anything. I’ll prove to myself I can move forward without the permission from others.
SAGE: And there it is. You’ve begun separating their task from yours. Growth isn’t given, it’s taken. How do you feel now?
SEEKER: Lighter. Like I’m no longer a victim of their choices. I can choose too.
SAGE: Exactly. That’s what moving from dependence to agency feels like, and I’m excited to see where it takes you. So, with that in mind: What’s one skill you’ve always wanted to develop but never prioritized? And what’s stopping you from starting now?
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