Weaponizing Silence
The quiet power move
“Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.” – Charles de Gaulle
Silence can be a form of control. Some people use it to keep you off balance, second-guessing yourself, and chasing their approval.
But you can learn how to spot it, stop it, and regain your confidence. You don’t have to play their game, you can take the power back.
Let’s put an end to “radio silence.”
Is your boss already an open book? Instead, maybe you’re dealing with:
A micromanager: Dealing with a boss who is watching your every move.
Envy in the workplace: Conquering the tendency to envy others' success.
Professional development: No opportunities for learning or skill-building.
SEEKER: I feel like I’m being ghosted by my own boss. I’ve poured weeks into this project, and when I sent it through and followed up… nothing. No response. Just silence.
SAGE: Complete silence?
SEEKER: Yes. Then, in a meeting today, they casually mentioned that the project wasn’t up to standard. Like it was obvious or something. I didn’t know there was a problem! I’m constantly guessing what they want, and every time I think I’m on the right track they just leave me hanging.
SAGE: That must be frustrating. No feedback, no direction, no idea what you’re doing wrong…
SEEKER: Exactly! Just silence. It’s like I’m left to figure everything out on my own. I don’t know if they’re doing it on purpose or if they just don’t care. Either way, it’s messing with my head.
SAGE: Silence can be more than just a lack of words. It can be a weapon, though sometimes it’s just neglect. Do you think there’s a pattern here, or is it possible they’re just overwhelmed?
SEEKER: At first, I thought they were just too busy. But it’s become a pattern. I ask for input and… nothing. I submit my work then… no response. I only hear from them when something goes wrong. It feels deliberate.
SAGE: Sometimes silence is a calculated move. Some people wield it like a blade, knowing that uncertainty breeds insecurity. It creates a power vacuum, one they control.
SEEKER: Really?
SAGE: Not always, but sometimes. Refusing to speak is a form of control. It says… I will dictate the terms of your discomfort.
SEEKER: So, they’re doing it on purpose?
SAGE: Perhaps. There are two possibilities: Either they want you to feel off balance, or they see your confusion as a sign of weakness. Silence forces you to doubt yourself, second-guess your choices, and ultimately seek their approval more desperately.
SEEKER: That’s exactly how it feels. I’m always anxious, wondering if I’m on the right track.
SAGE: Which means they’re achieving their goal. If they can keep you questioning your own competence, you’ll never challenge them. You’ll remain cautious, careful not to provoke disapproval, always seeking reassurance.
SEEKER: So how do I deal with it?
SAGE: The first step is to detach your sense of worth from their validation. Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing you scramble. Instead, operate with the assumption that no feedback means your work is satisfactory. If it weren’t, you’d hear about it.
SEEKER: That’s hard to do when I’m constantly questioning myself.
SAGE: Exactly why it’s necessary. Your confidence must be self-generated. Act as if you are certain, even if doubt lingers. When they see that silence no longer rattles you, it disrupts their strategy.
SEEKER: But what if I genuinely need feedback to improve?
SAGE: Then take control of the narrative. Instead of asking vague questions like, “What do you think?” present your work as confidently as possible and say, “Here’s my solution, and here’s why it works.” Invite critique, but from a place of strength. If they have something to criticize, they will. If not, your assertion will stand.
SEEKER: So, I need to show that I’m not afraid of their silence.
SAGE: Precisely. Treat silence as implicit approval. If they refuse to give feedback, state your next steps openly and confidently. “Since I haven’t received any input, I’ll proceed as planned.” You force them to speak if they truly object.
SEEKER: What if they still don’t respond?
SAGE: Then proceed without fear. Remember, inaction is also a decision. By remaining silent, they are tacitly agreeing to your course. You can even follow up with, “Since I didn’t hear otherwise, I moved forward.” You are framing their silence as consent.
SEEKER: Won’t that annoy them if they did disagree?
SAGE: Perhaps. But it shifts the burden onto them to communicate properly. People who weaponize silence often expect you to remain passive, mired in doubt. When you confidently interpret silence as agreement, you call their bluff.
SEEKER: So, I’m reclaiming control by not being intimidated by the lack of feedback. If my boss truly is trying to play power games, they would take every opportunity to critique my work if they could. The absence of critique and only silence should give me confidence in my work.
SAGE: Exactly. So practice assertive interpretation rather than passive waiting. The key is consistency. If they see that their silence no longer controls your actions, they may abandon the tactic altogether. Or, at the very least, start to respect your decisiveness.
SEEKER: I like that. I’m not going to let their silence dictate my progress anymore.
SAGE: Good. When silence becomes your ally rather than your enemy, it loses its power. Move forward decisively, and let them realize that withholding words will no longer impact your confidence.
QUESTION FOR YOU
Is there someone at work whose silence has too much power over your confidence, and what would it look like to start reclaiming that power this week?
P.S. Enjoy this issue? Then subscribe and share it with your work BFF! It only takes 10 seconds, and they’ll thank you for it.